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(in english, scroll down) Olen tahtnud sellest juba päris ammu kirjutada, tükk aega enne, kui viirus meie ellu sisse tungis ja igapäevaelu üle võttis. Eks ikka on nii, et kriisisituatsioonis kõik võimendub, mitmekordselt ja emotsionaalselt. Ühel päeval tunned, et täitsa vahva on kodus toimetada, teisel päeval ei taha kedagi näha ja mitte milleski kuulda. Meeleolu liigub üles alla, lootus vaheldub lootusetusega. Ebamugav ja harjumatu olukord tekitab piina- me ei saa toimetada samamoodi nagu enne, määramatus tekitab ebakindlust, hirmu ja viha. Mõni põgeneb, mõni ootab, osad loobuvad ja teised püüavad olukorrast viimase välja pigistada. Inimesed on pandud sunniviisiliselt olukorda, kus on ainult siin ja praegu, olukord muutub kiiresti ja ainus võimalus on anda endast parim, et saada hakkama igapäevaste tegevustega, teistsugustes tingimustes, väljaspool oma mugavustsooni. Me ei ole harjunud elama siin ja praegu ja see on piinavalt raske. Kohalolekut saab praktiseerida ilma heatahtlikkuse ja südamlikkuseta. Me kõik tahame ellu jääda olemasolevates tingimustes, ka vahendeid valimata. Vihaseid kommentaare ja sapiseid märkusi lisades ja üksteisest üle rullides ja süüdistades. Selge see, et keegi meist ei taha kaotada. Näost näkku kohtudes me tihti seda ei julge, aga nüüd, kui me oleme isolatsioonis ja kohtume teineteisega läbi filtri- virtuaalmaailma, kaob igasugune tunnetus- tulistame ja tuhastame, unustame, et ekraani taga on sama lihast ja luust inimene, oma tunnete ja samasuguse ebakindluse ning hirmuga oleviku ja tuleviku ees. Maskid langevad ja pärisinimesed vaatavad üksteisele otsa. Kohalolekut saab praktiseerida olles heatahtlik ja südamlik, nii iseenda kui teiste suhtes, pannes oma tegevuse laiemasse vaatesse. See ei tähenda seda, et me peidame pea liiva alla, ei tee midagi ja oleme rõõmsad ja rõõsad. See tähendab, et me vaatame reaalsusele otsa, anname endale aru, et nii on praegu. See on elu, igale tõusule järgneb mõõn ja vastupidi. See on kohalolek ja mida rohkem me sellest aru saame, et see on elu ja on asju, mida me praegu muuta ei saa, seda vähem me tajume neid halva või heana. Mõistame, et nii on ja tegutseme lähtekohast, mis on praegu tähtis, mis on tegelikult väärtuslik. See tähendab, et me oleme ka heatahtlikud enda suhtes. Kõiki tundeid tunda saab ja võib tunda- kurbust, rõõmu, viha või mida iganes. Ja aktsepteerime, et ka teistel on nii. Mul oli eelmisel nädalal sünnipäev ja ma olin kurb, lihtsalt niisama, sest see oli üks nendest päevadest, kui tundus, et kõik on ikkagi halvasti. Hoolimata sellest, et ma sain väga hästi aru, et kõik on tegelikult väga hästi. Väljas oli imeilus ilm, kõige ilusam, mida ma oma sünnipäeva päeval mäletan. Ma olen terve ja ma saan minna kodust välja. Mu ümber on head ja hoolivad inimesed, isegi kui ma neid näen ja kuulen läbi ekraani. Hoolimata sellest, et nii paljud inimesed hoolisid ja võtsid aega, et saata mulle virtuaalne õnnesoov. Ma olen südamest tänulik, et inimesed märkavad, osalevad ja saadavad tänusõnu ning hoolivad, päriselt. Sest tegelikult isegi kui ma ekraanil naeratan, siis ma ka muretsen, samamoodi nagu Sina seal. Aga ma püüan olla heasoovlik ning teha asju, mida ma saan teha siin ja praegu, selles määramatus olukorras, oma südamega enda ja teiste heaks. I've been wanting to write about this for quite some time, long before the virus broke into our lives and took over everyday life. In a crisis situation, everything is amplified, we are emotionally overwhelmed- we take every single thing personally and sometimes overreact without reason. We are riding on a emotional roller coaster- some days you are full of willpower and other days seem even not worth of waking up. An uncomfortable and unfamiliar situation cannot be dealt the same way as before, uncertainty creates despair, fear and anger. Some flee, some wait, some give up and others try to push the limits. People are being forced into a situation where there is only one possibility- to be here and now. The situation
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I haven`t written so long, because i was so busy with my life. To be honest, I didn`t want to write and share, because nobody wants to share things that doesn´t make you happy. So I was just working a lot, teaching and trying to give my best, but carried so much pain in my heart. Its the things that you least expect that hit you the hardest. My heart was broken. So I struggled with myself day by day figuring out what shall I do next. I was lost.
One of my yoga teachers said: "If you are lost, don`t panic. Be patient. Give time. Don`t expect. Find your teacher within yourself. And wait for signs". So I`ve practising patience and let it come. But same time reminding myself to enjoy the present, because it so easy to find yourself in the past (ex. what could have been, why this happened with me, what could i have done differently) or predicting and creating future scenarios that never happen. Instead of blogging I was walking with my dog and created some poetry. Its in Estonian, because its much easier to find right words to express yourself in your mother tongue, but maybe some day I will be more advanced in English, so I could translate them all. But here is something I tried to create in English: Heart shaped box All I need is a heart shaped box. Where I could keep days I dont wanna remember. Where I could collect thoughts that still call my mind Where I could hide feelings I hold deep in my essence. Where I could lock up pieces of broken heart. What if What if I get old and I don`t have it. Love. When I am still pretty and so ready for. And there isnt enough. Love. But is love enough to be loved? Ma ei ole ammu siia kirjutanud, sest elu haaras mind nii endasse, et muuks enam jõudu ei jätkunud. Ja ausalt, ma isegi ei tahtnud kirjutada, sest nii lihtne on kirjutada asjadest, mis teevad sind õnnelikuks ja rõõmsaks. Aga elus ei ole alati kõik päevad päikselised ning ühel päeval, kui sa seda kõige vähem ootad, tuleb metsik torm ja võtab sinu ilusa hoitud ja hoolitsetud elu üle. Ühtäkki sa tunned, et kõik päevad on ühtlaselt hallid ja vihmased ja siis sa lihtsalt võitled iseendaga, et üldse kodust välja minna. Kulged päevast päeva, paned sobivad maskid ette, võtad oma jõu kokku, teed oma asjad ära. Seest on aga nii valus, et tundub lausa talumatu. Aga seda tead ainult sina, sest keegi teine sinu sisse ei näe ja ei saagi näha. Üks minu õpetajatest ütles kord, et kui sa oled segaduses või ennast kaotamas, siis ära paanitse. ole kannatlik ja anna aega. Leia enda seest oma õpetaja ja oota märke. Seega olengi harjutanud kannatlikkust ja usaldust elu loomuliku liikumise vastu. Püüdnud mitte mõelda sellele, mis oli ja mida enam muuta ei saa või peatanud ennas pidevalt tulevikustenaariumidesse mässimast (mis juhtub, mis saab, kui äkki jne). Toonud tagasi end praegusesse hetke ja märkamisse. Igaüks võitleb oma mõtetega erinevalt. Mina kõndisin ja kirjutasin. Mõned kirjutatud mõtted siin: Kohale jõudmise ja kohal olemise vahel on vahe. Millegi vahel olemise aeg. Mis on veel raskem kui kohale jõudmine või kohal olemine. See on aeg, millal vana pole eel lõppenud, aga uus pole veel alanud. Ootamise aeg. Aeg, kus ei tea, kas lasta lahti või hoida kinni. Aeg, milles on nii palju kohalolemise hetki, mida me ei märka, sest me ootame midagi, mis võiks lõppeda või asju, mis pole veel alanud. See on tegelikult päriselu aeg. Aeg sünni ja surma vahel. Aeg olemiseks, nautimiseks ja elamiseks. Kohale jõudmine on ilus hetk. Sa avad värava ja sulged selle enda järgi. Ja astud sisse Ning ühtäkki märkad värve enda ümber, tunned lõhnu ja märkad asju, mis on tegelikult kogu aeg seal olnud. Isegi kui su ümber on palju helisid, siis tundub, et kõik on nii vaikne. Nii vaikne, et kõrvus lausa kohiseb. Kõik tundub nii ilus ja sina ise oled ka ilus, sest tunne on. Kohal olemises on talumatu kergus, sest sa ei mõtle enam sellele, mis oleks olnud kui või mis saab, kui. Sa ei väsita end asjadega, mida sa enam muuta ei saa või mis võiks juhtuda. See ei tähenda seda, et sa mitte midagi ei tee, aga ka mitte seda, et sa üritad kõike viimse hetkeni kontrollida. See on arusaam, et sa annad endast parima, aga usaldad asjade loomulikku kulgu. Leides tasakaalu kinni hoidmise ja minna laskmise vahel. Kohal olemine on nii ilus. Täpselt nii ilus, kui õhtupäike langeb sinu tuppa ja paneb kõik asjad toas elama. Annab asjadele värvid ja sära. Sina ise oled selle kõige sees ja särad ka peast jalatallani, sest lihtsalt on nii ilus. Või kui päike loojub ja on taeva pastelseks värvinud nii kaunilt, et sa ei suuda imestada, kui palju ilusaid värve on võimalik korraga taevasse ning vee peale maalida. Kui sa tõused hommikul üles, astud kargesse hommikusse värske lõhnava hommikukohviga ja mitte kuskile pole kiiret. Kui sa märkad kõiki neid väikseid ja lihtsaid asju ning sa tunned, et kõik on nii ilus. Siis pole vaja oodata, et midagi suurt ja vägevat juhtuks, et sa saaks tunda õnnetunnet, vaid need pisikesed asjad teevad sind õnnelikuks. -------------------------- Kas iga päev on võimalik armastada? Kas isegi siis, kui päevad on lõputult hallid ja rusuvalt vihmased? Või saab armastust tunda ainult neil päevil, mil hommikud on lõpmatut valgust täis ja sina ärkad koos päikesega? Kui palju ja kui kauaks on vaja ära minna, et tulla tagasi, avastades ja lootes, et armastus on tegelikult kogu aeg olemas olnud, aga lihtsalt sa ei osanud tähele panna? Miks on vaja iseennast kaotada, otsida, leida ja minna taas otsima, et armastada. Mis siis, kui ma jään vanaks ja mul ei ole. Armastust. Olen ju end ehtinud ja valmis pannud. Üles sättinud ja tubliks teinud, aga ikka ei ole piisavalt. Armastust. Aga kas üldse armastusest piisab, et oleks piisav? 1. People I have been travelling a lot, but in Bali I have met most beautiful people. They are friendly, happy, open and can surprise you when you least expect it. Last time when I was there, family from my homestay, surprised me with a cake, flowers and song in my birthday morning. They even apologised that the flowers were local! And I only met these people a week ago. They are willing to share their traditions and customs with you and are so happy if you are making your efforts to understand and show respect to their culture. Balinese people follow strictly their religion and karma, so they believe that whatever you do, everything comes back sooner or later:) Yes, there are exceptions, but in general, they want that you remain happy, even fixing something takes long time or compromise lot of negotiation. Yes there are lot of men on the streets offering you taxi service or tours, but they are not pressuring you to take it. If you say no, thank you, they thank you in return and ask maybe tomorrow:) Same in shops- they are grateful for visiting it, but not trying to make you buy everything. Always ask better price or ask from different sellers, there are always better offers available, because it brings good karma:) Life in Bali goes along with ceremonies and they have ceremony for everything from birth till death. There are ceremony for every thing on earth and nothing happens without ceremony. People stop working, if there is a ceremony, if you bought or sold something, make a ceremony. So more than half of their incomes goes to making ceremony and if you have lot of money, you make more and bigger ceremonies. I asked, what they would do, when they earned more money, they said, that they would put all their extra money for making bigger ceremonies! Because it brings luck and protection to their family, house, car, food, for everything. Balinese are really open to share all their ceremonies with you, but you must show respect to their traditions. Please wear sarong and sash, shoulders covered. Please dont touch children s head (it is the most sacred place on human body), please dont face your bare feet to somebody. Please take off your shoes, if you enter rooms, temples, shops. I have seen so many tourist willing to take part of ceremonies, but not understanding that it is not show for them, but its something very sacred for Balinese people. I even saw a lady wearing mini skirt when visiting most honoured healer in Bali. Yes she had really long legs, but this is not the place, I was so embarrassed. If you dont know how to dress or act, please ask before you do. Bali juures ma armastan kõige rohkem inimesi, kes on nii siirad, lahked ja valmis jagama sinuga oma igapäevaelu. Nad oskavad sind üllatada, kui sa kõige vähem ootad. Viimane kord, kui ma ööbisin ühes kodumajutuses, siis minu sünnipäevahommikul üllatasid nad mind tordi, lillede ja lauluga, ise veel vabandades, et lilled on kohalikud! Balilased jälgivad rangelt oma tavasid ning üldiselt enamik elab põhimõtte järgi, et kõik, mida sa teed, tuleb sulle tagasi. Loomulikult on ka erandeid, aga üldiselt tahavad nad alati, et klient oleks õnnelik, isegi kui see võtab kaua aega või peate omavahel vaidlema ning kompromissile jõudma. Tänavatel olevad taksojuhid (taxi-taxi) ei ole pealetükkivad ja kui sa neid tänad pakkumise eest, siis soovivad nad sulle head päeva. Sama on poodides, kus sulle ei üritata kõike pähe määrida, vaid ollakse tänulikud, et sa nende poodi külastasid, sest see toob neile head õnne. Õnne ja kaitse jaoks on neil igapäevased tseremooniad, mida viiakse läbi sünnist surmani ja üleüldse kõikide asjade puhul, mida sa ette võid kujutada. Tseremooniatele pannakse üle poole oma sissetulekutest ja mida rikkam on perekond, seda suuremad ja uhkemad on tseremooniad, Kui näiteks perel ei ole raha, et matuseid korraldada, siis maetakse esialgu surnu maha, kogutakse aastaid raha ning ühel hetkel kaevatakse surnu ülesse ja tehakse suur põletamise tseremoonia. Kui ma küsisin, mida sa teeksid siis, kui sul oleks rohkem raha, siis vastasid nad, et korraldaks rohkem ja suuremaid tseremooniad, sest see toob veel rohkem õnne ja raha sisse. Praegu kulub aeg lihtsalt töötamiseks, et tseremooniate jaoks raha koguda:) Balilased on väga avatud sinuga jagama oma igaäevaelu, aga eeldusel, et sa austad nende kultuuri ja traditsioone. Vahel tundub, et turistid arvavad, et kõik see on üks suur etendus turistide lõbustamiseks. Tegelikult on tegemist väga pühade protseduuridega, milleks tehakse suuri ettevalmistusi. Seega kui sa tahad olla osaline, siis austa Balit, kanna sarongi, salli ümber piha kattes õlad. Ära katsu laste päid (sest see on kõige püham koht) ja ära istu paljaste jalgadega inimeste poole. Võta ära jalanõud enne ruumidesse, poodidesse, templitesse sisenemist. Küsi enne, kui sa otsustad midagi teha. Ükskord ma isegi nägin ühte kaunist pikajalgset naisterahvast miniseelik seljas, külastamas Bali kõige pühamat tervendajat ning mul oli tõesti väga piinlik. 2. Magic I believe in magic and there is a lot of magic in Bali, Island of Gods. First time when I visited Bali, I didnt have any expectations and it was wonderful experience. Second time I had expectations, I was looking for answers, because there was a great mess in my life, but nothing happened and I was so frustrated. People often go to Bali to look for something. They visit several healers, readers, go to ceremonies (water, fire, flower, dancing etc), get many healing-ayurvedic massages, buy different magical things and try everything to get healed and find their ways in life. Then the vacation is over, you fly back and nothing really changes. Been there and done that:) Yes, there are lot of people who know and can really work with magic in Bali, but as it says: "Teacher appears when the student is ready". It happens, when you have yourself. There is an inner Guru in every one of us, but its hard to find him, or listen to her. So we go far away to find it, but you cant run away from yourself. If you dont find it here, you dont find it in Bali either. So if you want to solve something or find the answers, dont go so far, dont waste your money, dont look your answers from somewhere or from someone. There is time and place for change. If you have found yourself and time is there, go with open heart. Dont expect anything and everything is there, all that magic, everywhere and when you least expect it. Ma usun maagiasse ja öeldakse, et Bali on jumalate saar, kus igal sammul võib kohata maagiat. Kui ma esimesel korral balil käisin, ei teadnud ega ma ei osanud oodata eriti midagi. Kogemus, mis ma sain oli nii eriline, et tahtsin järgmisel aastal kohe tagasi minna. Selleks ajaks olin oma eluga päris puntrasse jooksnud ning ma uskusin, et see reis muudab minu elu ja mul on aega mõelda, kuhu ja mida edasi. Ma mäletan hästi viimast päeva, kui ma tagasi hakkasin sõitma ja mitte midagi polnud muutunud. Raha oli otsas, vastuseid polnud ja puhkus sai ka läbi. Kuigi ma olin teinud läbi igasugu tseremooniaid ja leidnud aega mõtisklemiseks. Balile tõmbab inimesi tihti just maagia, mille abil loodetakse end tervendada, leida vastuseid või rahu. Külastatakse mitmeid tervendajaid, osaletakse vee- tule- tantsu-lille puhastustseremooniatel, ostetakse maagilisi kivisid-viirukeid-vett, võetakse tervendavaid massaaze või ayurveda hoolitsusi ning külastatakse tervendajaid, ennustajaid. Puhkus saab läbi, aga elu läheb ikka oma rada pidi edasi, mitte midagi ei ole muutunud. Kindlasti olete kuulnud ütlemist, et kui õpilane on valmis, tuleb ka õpetaja. Ehk nagu minule meeldib öelda, on meie endi sees olemas sisemine Guru ehk sina ise. Probleem on pigem selles, et sa ei tea, kes see Guru sinu sees on või mida ta sulle öelda tahab või lihtsalt keeldud teda kuulamast. Niikaua, kui sa isennast üles ei leia, ei leia sa seda ka kuskilt mujalt. Seega pole mõtet raisata oma aega ja raha. sõita seitsme mäe ja mere taha ning otsida sealt iseennast. Mine Balile avatud südamega, valmis vastu võtma ja kogema seda, mida see imeline saar sulle pakub ja sinu ees avaneb palju maagiat, igal sammul ja igal hetkel. 3. Views Plan your journey, but do not forget to enjoy the views and views in Bali are stunning. The nature is an amazing, so green, so lush, so fresh. Although it is hot and humid and there is lot of heavy rain in the low season (november till may), I love it. There are so much to see in Bali. Every household is like a temple with beautiful garden. Every house in compound is located according their rules like a labyrinth, because they have belief that demons cant take corners:) Every family has their temples in their households, there are temples in the village and big temples in every county. Definitely visit waterpalace near to Candidasa and watertemples, that you can find everywhere around Bali, Depending on the ceremony, the temple is decorated with textiles, flowers in different colours and bamboo. Offerings to the gods are also colourful, big and consists of flowers, bamboo, sweets, rice and other food. Same are their national costumes, handmade, bright and with beautiful patterns. In Bali, everybody finds something to fall in love. There are high mountains, black, yellow, white sand beaches. Blue, green, grey sea or beautiful waterfalls with spring water. Amazing rice terraces around. My favourite places are Candidasa (east, on seaside), Ubud (centre of Bali), Uluwatu (west). Most touristic places are Kuta and Seminyak, where are all the popular brands and food courts are presented and nightlife is wild. Sanur is also touristic place with big hotel chains, but more quiet and suitable for families. Uluwatu and Canggu are popular among the surfers. Nusa Dua is a resort where all the fancy hotels are located. Kõige rohkem ma armastan reisides vaateid, mis avanevad sulle igal sammul. Balil on eriti ilus loodus, heleroheline, lopsakas ja värviline. Kuigi kliima on üpris niiske, kuum ja vihmane (eriti madal hooajal novembrist-maini), on vaadata nii palju. Iga majapidamine (tavaliselt elab mitu põlvkonda koos) on nagu väike tempel ning ehitatud teatud reegleid arvestades. Balilastel on uskumus, et deemonid ei saa liikuda, kui on palju nurki, seega on hooned ehitatud ka nagu labürint. Igas majapidamises on tempel, kus viiakse läbi erinevaid tseremooniaid. Templeid on hulganisti ka külades ja suuremad maakondades. Templid on ehitud vastavalt tähtpäevadele erinevate värvide, tekstiilide ja lilledega. Sama värvilised on nende rahvuslikud kostüümid, millel on käsitööna erinevad mustrid. Kindlasti külasta veetempleid, mida leidub palju üle kogu bali. Samuti kuningale ehitatud vee-lossi, kust avanevad imelised vaated. Balil on igale maitsele midagi vaadata. Mäed on, vulkaanid ka. Vesi on kas sinine või roheline, soolane või mage Rand kollane, must või valge, kõik sõltub asukohast. Vaatamist väärivad kosed ja lõputud riisipõllud, millest ilusamad Ubudis. Minu lemmikkohtadeks Balil on Ubud ja Candidasa. Kõige turistikamad on aga Kuta ja Seminyak, kus leidub kõike kodust ja euroopalikku ning on elav ööelu. Sanur on vaiksem turistikeskus ja sobib rohkem peredele. Surfarid liiguvad Canggus ja Uluwatus, kultuuri on rohkem Ubudis. Kõige peenemad hotellid on aga Nusa Dual. Bali ida osa on aga minu meelest kõige ilusam, mägine, ilusate vaiksete randade ja lopsaka loodusega. 4- 5 Yoga and Food
Bali is a yoga and food heaven. Do yoga 24hrs 7 days a week. Eat as much as you can, you can get everything vegan, non vegan, glutenfree, lactosefree, raw, juices, smoothies, healthy, non healthy- sky is the limit! Bali on toidu ja joogaparadiis. Tee joogat 24h päevas, 7 päeva nädalas ja söö kõike, mida hing ihkab. Kõike on saadaval taime-liha, gluteenivaba, laktoosivaba, toores, mahlad, smuutid, tervislik, mitte tervislik- ainult taevas on piiriks! Read more about yoga and food in Bali here/Loe rohkem toidust ja joogast siit: http://estonianyogini.weebly.com/blogblogi/my-bali-vol-3-yoga-and-food-heaven-minu-bali-vol-3-jooga-ja-toiduparadiis. It has been a long time since I wrote something here. In one moment you realise that it has been almost a year. Everything goes by so fast, but if I look back, it has been the best time of my life. I have been teaching so many groups on different topics around Estonia, I had great students at University. I have chance to teach yoga in my favourite studios in Tallinn. I just love those places and people there. I am so grateful for meeting so many beautiful souls, seen people growing, getting stronger and more flexible. I have met many glowing mums-to-be-yogis and new yoga babies are born. Aeg liigub hämmastavalt kiiresti. Ühel hetkel märkad, et pea aasta on möödunud viimasest postitusest. Tõesti see aasta on olnud parim- ma olen palju õpetanud ja õppinud. Juhendanud erinevaid gruppe, aidanud mõtestada noorsootööd, strateegilist planeerimist, õppimist ja õpetamist. Mul on võimalik juhendada joogat parimates joogastuudiotes. Ma olen südamest tänulik kõikidele teile, kes te olete minu joogatundidesse sattunud- nii ilusad inimesed seest kui väljast. Nii palju tugevust ja painduvust, nii palju kasvamist ja rõõmu, palju uusi joogabeebisid:) I went back to Bali, I was volunteering in Bali Spirit Festival. I took part of many yoga workshops, I travelled around Bali and Gilis with my family, but I promise Ill write many posts about it. Keset õpetamist ja õppimist õnnestus mul tagasi minna Balile. Saarele, kus on seni osa minu südamest. Ma olin vabatahtlik maailma suurimal joogafestivalil, osalesin paljudes töötubades. Reisisin Balil ringi, käisin Gilil ja kogesin maagiat igal sammul. Kõgile Bali huvilistele kirjutan ka oma kogemusest pikemalt, püüan seda üsna varsti teha, Now I am organising my first yoga retreat in beautiful place in south of Estonia, where good food meets yoga. The place itself has a good energy- surrounded by healing energy of herbs, river and woods. We start with yin yoga through storytelling, stories are about returning, being and trusting the flow of life. Then we move from silence to movement and energy. We start from core, adding layer by layer, single movement becomes flow. Flow that comes through your body. Then we move back to silence with beautiful live music. We end our yoga retreat with walking meditation in my favourite place- Hüpassaare bog in early morning to see the sunrise. We will salute the sun and take a tour in fields of herbs. I hope it will be exactly like I have dreamed many times. And I promise it will be magic, because I put my whole heart into it! Nüüd olen ma korraldamas ühte oma unistust, mis on meeles mõlkunud juba mitu aastat, aga aeg pole senini veel küps olnud. Nüüd on see koht ja aeg leitud. 25.-27.08 olete oodatud osa saama unistusest kohas, mis õigustatult kannab nime Energia talu, mida ümbritseb voolava vee energia ja kus õhus hõljub ravimtaimede tervendav aroom. Jalge all on sooja ilma korral puhas loodus või põrand, mis on valmistatud Siberi lehisest: rahustav, pehme ja kiirgava energiaga. Kokku saavad vaikus ja kohalolek ning liikumine ja energia. Joogaaeg on üles ehitatud kihiti: vaikusest saab samm sammu haaval liikumine ning energia. Energiast saab vaikus, vaikusest saab teadvelolek. Kui sa kahtled, kas sobib üksi tulla või sind kammitseb hirm, et äkki ma ei saa hakkama, siis ära muretse asjade pärast, mis mitte kunagi ei juhtu! Ma usun, et sellel kenal nädalavahetusel saavad kokku kõige toredamad inimesed maa peal ja sa ei tunne end üksi ning saad hakkama kõigega, milleks sinu keha valmis on. Mina luban, et tuleb maagiline puhkus, sest see, mis tuleb südamest, läheb ka südamesse:) Registreeri julgelt, kirjutades mulle [email protected] või lihtsalt FB sõnumitesse. Kohti on kahjuks piiratud arv, seega ole julge! Ootan! I love the saying that aim of the yoga is to create space were once stuck. To unveil layers of protection you have built around your heart. To appreciate your body and become aware of the mind and the noise it creates. To make peace with who you are in creating our natural wholeness, balanced integrity of our yin and yang nature. I am naturally yang-type of person. I love sun and light, hot weather and spicy food. I function better on daytime and love to be active and spend time outside. I'`m not good at keeping emotions inside and tend to act before I think. I am loud and want everything happen here and now. Although I`m pretty earthy, I love to dream about many things and sometimes feel like the sky is the only limit. Although I love to be a woman, passionate about my home, beautiful clothes, cooking and dancing, on the same time I' m a true warrior who can handle everything without help. Tough, independent woman with lot of fire inside. So for a long time I created a very yang-like lifestyle for myself. Always planning, controlling and leading at work and home. Yes, I did achieve a lot, I had a wonderful career as a manager and I surely seemed like very gentle and amiable person. I had always my agenda in my pockets and no matter what the weather or how many times I had to try, I did it. Because I was a warrior and many times even acted like a true marshal. My way or no way. Yep hard to admit, but same at home and everywhere. Even though I was a true woman, my life was lacking yin side of being. I couldn’t trust the flow of life, I have used to plan and control everything. I was constantly planning, thinking and reacting emotionally. I didn't hear my body, I had terrible headaches, I was intensive and unbalanced. I kept on going very yang-way, when eventually life gave me painful lesson to learn. I couldn't plan anything, I just lived my life day by day not knowing what`s going to happen next. I had to live in the present moment, there was no clear future and past was full of memories. Other way was impossible. I got lesson for a lifetime. Although everything worked out fine in the end, I needed a help to find myself again. The very first yoga class I took, was kind of Yin, slow, holding poses long and just being there with my body and mind. I couldn'`t understand what was the idea of sitting there and doing barely nothing. I was counting minutes to get out of the room and away from my thoughts that were circulating in my head. I wanted to have physical exercise, to move fast and burn lot of calories. So I stepped into intensive yang yoga practice just to take care of my body. That’s how my personal journey started and how yoga approaches to many students, via physical exercise in order to get in shape, reduce stress or to find the way out from something that doesn't feel right anymore. At one point during my regular yoga-life, I got noticed that yang yoga practice was quietly sneaking into my lifestyle. I started to notice my emotional body, how my thoughts are flowing and changing and affecting my physical body. Yoga taught me flexibility in life, how to cope with other’s needs. And patience, still my biggest struggle in life. I understood that I can' `t control everything and learned how to live peace with myself when everything doesn'` t go the way I planned or decided. I started let go of things or just let them be the way they are. I understood that I can't change others, but myself. I followed the moon and let things happen way they are. I trusted the flow of life. I started to love yin in yoga and life. I let myself be in yin yoga and it was deliberating. I was amazed how it can be, that without sweating and intensive exercise you feel so light and relaxed. I felt more energy and the mind was clear as well. And believe me, it isn' `t easy to sit there with all your flowing thoughts and body that wants to move out from posture. Yin side of yoga has taught me to lose control, let things go and let them be, and this has been and still is hardest lesson in my life. While teaching, I share my personal practice, what I have learned and experienced. I teach mainly yang-style of yoga, because my personal journey began from there and I am still in love with vinyasa. To begin with the tangible part of us is more common in many ways, but still yet pretty hard to understand and control. We always say that do your practice, but listen to your body. And that listening part is very hard, we are still pushing strong and shaking in the postures doing more harm than good for our bodies. So many times we start with the yang practises, sometimes we feel something, even fall, get angry or start to cry. Then we start noticing, during or after yoga. Maybe we even listen our body and mind, learn something and the yin part has started. Sometimes while I practise, I start with yin postures to get into the skin and bones and slowly continue to feel the tangible part of human, muscles and body. I use yin yoga in my prenatal classes, I do breathing exercises to get connected to body and poses that help body to be more relaxed. I love how children get naturally yin, they feel their bones and skin, could imagine deeper tissues of the body. We are on constant journey towards wholeness and balance, integrating yin and yang sides of life. Sometimes there are more yin and other times yang, the challenge is to acknowledge the current state and to try to find balance again. Every single day of your life. Yang part is more understandable and achievable for us, because we see it, we can touch it. The yin part of life and yoga takes more time to understand, because it is hard to touch untouchable. Holding space for now is hard, being in between is difficult. You can`t push anything nor force yourself, you have to feel it in your skin, bones and with your heart. It takes time, but it is worth it. It can change your life and yang practice. It opens your body and mind in many different ways. It teaches you how to let things be as they are, when you can`t change anything. It gives you time, extends reaction time, teaches patience and stillness in life. But in the end its all about wholeness. Where dark meets light, water with fire, cold with hot, speed meets stillness, activity with patience and moon with sun. Where yang and yin are both present. Ma usun, et jooga eesmärk on luua ruumi ja rahu enda sees ning ümber. Õppida tundma oma keha, märkama oma mõtteid ning müra nende sees. Luua oma loomulikku terviklikkust, tasakaalustades yin ja yang poolt elus. Sometimes, people do not dare to come to yoga class, because it seems that the body is not that fit or there is not enough flexibility to perform all those postures we have seen on the pictures. You have definitely seen yogis who are so light they could stand on their fingers feet up high or postures where you can`t distinguish where are the legs, head or hands. The perception of yoga is different- some think that yoga is all about bending, breathing and sitting, no physical effort has been made. It makes no sense to compare yourself with others, because every body and mind has their time to change. Some things come easily, some don`t. My body hasn`t been always the same: there has been larger and smaller versions of me. I`ve always loved exercising and moving my body, but on the same time I love cooking and eating. So in 2012, I was a quite curvy lady! But it didn`t bother me at all, I had clothes to wear and life was good in every way. I loved myself and others loved me. So it was pretty strange when an acquaintance marked in other day that I`ve become beautiful lately. In my opinion I`ve always been beautiful… Although I was happy with my shape, my health wasn`t that good. I had terrible migraines for years and sometimes I was lying in my bed for days and it didn`t get better. My doctor said that I should take pills every day till the end of my life! It was a shock, so I decided to find out alternatives and changed my diet. I was diagnosed lactose intolerance and advised not to eat so much gluten. I was still cooking a lot, but started to invent new non gluten, non diary recipes, because I still wanted to enjoy my food! I lost some weight, but on intense times I still had migraines, so I started doing yoga. The most important thing in yoga is to start where you are, with what you have. Although I was a bit thinner, I was weak and not really flexible. I've been noticing how my body changed during the time, it become more flexible and stronger. Yoga isn`t secret cure that makes you immediately small and slim. I have an experience of training really hard and eating healthy, but nothing changed. I even gained some weight, because of my stress level was pretty high and when there are no results it gets higher and higher! Yoga is a practice that operates on both levels- physical and mental, so it will surely help you achieve better shape. Yoga teaches to listen to your body and diminishes stress level, that is crucial in losing weight, if this is your main goal. It makes you sweat and engages your whole body and mind. Yoga helps to raise happiness level and happy people are beautiful people, even in round shape. I have seen how yoga makes people sparkle, they become happier and healthier. Even yoga clothes start to take happy colors! Vahel ei julge inimesed joogatundi tulla, It`s been awhile since my last entry here. It seems unbelievable, that 4 months have passed by without noticing. The end of the last yeas was difficult: weather turned grey again and mood started to take different shades of grey as well. It is the feeling in the end of the year, when you review last years resolutions and admit that you have failed in every single one. Year 2015 began with big failure. I tried to change the world, but nobody wanted change. I had to change myself or resign. I tried to leave everything behind and decided to escape to the most beautiful ashram in Bali. Although the place is heaven on earth, I couldn`t find peace, because you can`t escape from yourself. So I was wondering all the time what could have been, if I had done this and that and on the same time was trying to figure out what`s going to happen in the future. Same thoughts were going up every day and night and there were only few days before departure I could switch off my mind and enjoy my yoga practice, amazing surrounding, food and lovely people. I came back, worked a bit, but most of the time was trying to figure out what to do with my life. I decided to take a sabbatical for the summer and did everything I hadn`t got time for years. It was great summer! Then the season changed , autumn came, and weather turned grey again. I was still thinking and wondering day by day what to do with my life. I had many choices, but couldn`t decide, which was the right one. I ran 4-5 times a week and practised yoga almost every day, but nothing changed: I didn`t get stronger, thinner nor more flexible, I failed and couldn`t even do asanas I did before. The season changed again. All of sudden it was cold and everything turned white. Things started to settle down- one after another. Today, when I was walking around, it suddenly hit me. Am I living a life I have dreamed of? I don`t have to be in the office from 8 to 5 any more, I can plan my time. I dreamed of having different kind of jobs. Now I have several jobs: I still teach at the university, but also work as a prenatal yoga teacher in a beautiful studio in downtown, as well as I love to teach vinyasa classes to my yogis and yoginis in my hometown studios and can share my practice with my little yogis. I have dreamed of helping rural areas in their development and had an idea of working with youth policy. And that`s exactly what I am doing right now. I have followed my path and everything is happening right now. It is real, I live in my dreams right now. But life is not that simple. Dreams are in constant change, they grow, change and multiple. Some of them are in clear shape, but some still form and forming process is complicated and painful. You don``t know any more if they are your dreams or how these dreams fit into your current life where other dreams are just happening. Soon you discover that you are analysing past again and living in the future. But life has other plans for you. It is the same with yoga. You can push really hard, but nothing happens. And then you will start to quiet your mind, let everything go, surrender and out of blue everything happens. In sudden, you are stronger, more flexible and can do things you never dreamed of. I can`t still do the handstand, but I am curious when it`s going to happen. Be patient. Viimasest kirjutisest on möödunud 4 kuud. Lately I` ve been thinking, whether is it possible to be happy all the time.Studies have shown that Estonians are relatively happy as a nation. Happiness among Estonians is related to its place in society, income and faith in democracy. Estonian famous writer Tammsaare has written, if you work hard then love and happiness will follow, but work doesn`t make Estonian happy, income increases happiness. Money can buy you illusion of happiness, even when it`s temporary. Living together with a partner doesn`t make Estonian happy, but having children can boost happiness level. Studies don`t t speak about it, but I have noticed that the merriest times in Estonia are from May till August (vacation, sun and grill), friday and payday. The rest of the time many of us wait patiently for friday, payday and holiday. Which of course does not mean. that happiness can not be felt occasionally, I believe that many people don`t ever think whether they are happy or not. My grandmother turned 99 on last Saturday, and I don`t know whether she is happy or not- we have never discussed it and frankly, I do not dare to ask. Maybe she hasn`t thought about it, but maybe she is the happiest person in the world. Happiness is a personal issue and in Estonia, it`s not common to discuss it. Researchers have found that happiness consists of two aspects, how satisfied are you with your life (finding meaning in your life) and how do you feel on a daily basis (more positive emotions than negative). Studies also have shown, that if you are trying desperately to be happy all the time, then very soon, you no longer know how to be happy, because nothing is sufficient for the happiness. So being happy all the time isn`t actually healthy and it is quite normal that you do not feel it all the time. On moments, when you feel that there is nothing in your life to be happy for, teach you the real happiness. How to appreciate and be grateful for all the tiny things in your life. It is possible to practice happiness on a daily basis by keeping awareness on your emotions without judging them. You have right to be sad or angry, but it doesn`t mean that your life is sad or you are an angry person. It is only your current situation and sooner or later it will pass. It may be stormy, but it never rains forever. You can remind yourself that one thing every day that makes you happy and grateful here and now. Even when it's not anything special. Scientists say that continuous practice of happiness increases lasting happiness and if there are more moments of happiness, the happier your life will feel. We were celebrating my grannys 99th birthday with this delicious happy carrot cake. Ma olen viimasel ajal |
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